Do super heroes have
sex? I ask sincerely. Greek heroes and gods were randy and
adulterous and it led to a lot of problems, though their pride, desires, egos,
reflected the foibles of our own mortal souls.
To the point, however, the Olympians had families. Parenting skills were in the early stages,
but children were born of their couplings.
I didn't read a lot of comics, so I don’t know if they begat, etc., or even
if they have the requisite parts for such practical purposes. The physiques of super heroes make you
look. Muscles and breasts, O my! Wonder Woman?
Captain America? For all those
tight suits and bulging deltoids you don’t see much in the way of a
basket. Maybe it’s the steroids. I mean, you go to the ballet, and at least
they have socks in their dance belts. Bruce
(how do you get lucky with a name like that?) Wayne and Tony Stark may be
heroic but they aren't super heroes, they’re men of mystery. Iron Man is more of a jet pilot. It’s the clothes that make the man. Rich, handsome and, “O, I’ll reveal my true
self to you, Miss: I’m a hero on the side and I suffer for it. Please don’t love me; it wouldn't be fair to
you.” It’s annoying. I saw that kind of panty-dropping routine all
the time in New York from privileged playboys.
Those with true super powers have the potential for gratifyingly intense
sex lives, one would surmise. Is it
evolution's way of righting the population?
Would we really want breeders who are faster than a speeding bullet? Spiderman?
Good luck, Gwen. A peck of Peter
Parker Spiderbabies would have you crawling up the wall.
I was a fan of Superman on
TV during the 50’s. My young romantic
self could tell there was a certain fondness between Clark and Lois. (How was she not able to see Clark Kent and
Superman were one and the same?
Apparently, horn rims were an effective guise. Maybe she’s the one that needed glasses.) What might have passed for sexual tension
between them was more on the part of Lois, a real, red-blooded woman, if impetuous,
and darn fetching in fitted suits. Kent
had eyes, hell, he had x-ray vision!
There is the reality of being a professional woman in her day and age,
having to work harder than Kent to prove herself in the work place. That left little time for a personal
life. Kent couldn't reveal his secrets
as it might have put her in jeopardy from various malefactors, I get all that,
but he was continually coming to her rescue, anyway. Having to save Lois, and Jimmy, from
two-by-four situations must have been a terrible distraction. Metropolis was a big city with tall buildings
to leap, multitudes nefarious schemers, citizens in peril, and it might have
been a big turn-off, her constantly stepping in it. Thought bubble over Superman’s head: “Nincompoop!
I could go for her if she wasn't a member of the 40 Watt Club!” Another bubble: "Now, Donna Reed! She’s a whiz
and mint. May have to blow some wind up
her skirt.” And face it, Lois, for
all her pertness, lacked a sense of humor.
Not to mention, what happened to all his business suits left behind in
phone booths? How about his cash and
driver license? Draft card! (They probably could have used a man like him
in Korea.) I suppose he had to fly
around downtown and upend some bum to get his stuff back. Whatever the explanation, there was a lack of
nookie. What kind of life is that? The futility just takes it out of you, I
guess. Clark put on the milk toast ruse,
but Superman seems to have been deeply exasperated most of the time; to have an
aspect both benevolent and condescending toward his flock. And, how could Lois get close to a man like
that? Was he even capable of
intimacy? Maybe he liked Jimmy. Perhaps, it isn't how his kind reproduced on
Krypton.
Comic book super heroes
make me rather sad.
Anon, James
Take a gander at Noel
Neill:
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